Three is a Magic Number

While David's been with me since March of 2004, today actually marks the third anniversary of the final order of adoption.

Looking back, it still seems like it took forever for that day to arrive.

Adoption proceedings actually began in July 2004, when David was officially eligible to be adopted. And while a dual plan was in place for him from the time he was placed with his first foster family in 2003 (there was a plan for him to be returned to his biological parent, and at the same time Social Services was working a plan to permanently place him with an adoptive parent, which I had agreed to be should his biological parent not achieve the goals approved by the court in order for him to return). It took nearly two and a half years to complete the adoption process, which the judge in this case informed me was a long time, and apologized for the delays we had experienced while papers were being shuffled from one desk to another.

So, in the time that it took for me to gain permanency for David, he had gone from being an eleven year-old boy to a fourteen year-old teenager, from his last year of elementary school to his final year of middle school, from GameBoy to a cell phone, from being a "wizard" to being an altar boy, and from baby teeth to braces.

I'd gone from my early forties to my mid-forties, and somehow dropped about twenty pounds along the way.

While foster parents choosing to adopt a child in their care should expect some time to pass while their adoption is being finalized, please don't think they all take as long as our case. I gathered from the judge during that last hearing when he asked "Why are you here, again?" that he had assumed our case had been approved and finalized months before that court date.

Maybe it's because we were in a foster situation for so long before the adoption was finalized, but it feels like we've been "official" for a lot longer than three years! I know that in time when I look back it'll seem like those years flew by, but for now it feels like it's taken forever to get through them.

Many families celebrate the date their adoption was finalized by having an "Adoption Day" celebration, which we do to a pretty small degree. After all, we didn't even know it happened until three days later, and I found out about it while reading my mail in the bathroom!

We've just had his sixth birthday celebration together, and are approaching our sixth Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and in a few short months we'll be celebrating our sixth "DDB Day" to mark the day in March that he was placed in my home and in my care.

We do seem to have finally hit some sort of stride with each other, where conversations don't always have to end in an argument, and actions don't constantly require punishment. There's still some tweaking to do as I attempt to prepare him for what lies ahead for him as he becomes a young man, but for now I'm good with taking a moment to reflect on the past few years, thank God for the miraculous way in which he brought us together, allowing us to live long enough to see the day that we were finally pronounced "father and son," and giving us both the strength to grow into the people--and the family--that we are today.