Orthodox Adoption Service

It was late December 2006 when I wrote this (has it really been over a year since final adoption?). In the Orthodox Church, newborns are presented at the altar during a "40 day" service. It was at about 40 days that my priest guided me in presenting my new child to the church. Below is the account of that day as I recalled it on what was ChristianForums.com (it has since changed). The post is from December 21, 2006.

Last Saturday night, our priest called me at home and said he wanted to perform the adoption service for me and my son "tomorrow" during the part of the service where he pauses to address and instruct the children seated in the first three rows. I gave David a heads up to let him know Father would be calling us to the front of the church, and asked that he please be attentive, and just do as Father instructs him to do.

Before I go on, I'll repost the link to the service of the adoption of a child from goarch.org, which is the website for the Greek Orthodox Church Archdiocese.

When we got to church the next morning, David was looking sharp (he even tucked his shirt in!), and instead of going up to sit with the children in the first three pews (which he had planned to do for the first time), he asked if he could stay by me until after the adoption service, which I thought was sweet.

Father begins addressing the children by talking about families, and how we come together as families in many ways. He asked the children, "For example, who is Jesus Christ's REAL Father?" The children of course answered "God." "That's right, but who took care of Jesus while he was growing up? Who raised him from a baby to a man, and became his father on earth?" Again, the children answered correctly with "Joseph."

He explained that Joseph adopted Jesus as his own son, and loved Him and raised Him as any father would. He did an excellent job of respectfully sharing how some biological parents are unable to care for their children, so sometimes adoption is how a family is formed. Then he introduced me and David and began the service.

While brief, it is a beautiful service that I had never had the opportunity to witness. Father kept us facing him, side by side, with our backs to the congregation (it almost looked like a wedding) until the end, when he had us face each other. David had stood without fidgeting or being distracted like a strong young man, and even (for the very first time) crossed himself when we did. I was so proud of him, and found myself falling in love with my son all over again. At the end, I repeated after Father, staring my son in the eye and said "Today you are my son. This day I have begotten you." Through all the court dates, continuances, appeals, all the paperwork, and all the social workers, this moment made everything so real for me. I was so proud to be sharing this moment with parish, solidifying my family through my faith.

Then, Father surprised me. He had David repeat after him: "Today I am your son. This day, you have begotten me." And he said it like he meant it. I don't even know how to tell you just how proud of him I was. He wasn't going through the motions to get what he wanted. He was taking this as seriously as I was, and was being so respectful and reverent.

During the embrace at the end of the service, I did hear a couple of people say "awww," but I had no idea that half of the people in the room were in tears. I had read the service online (several times!), so I knew what to expect, but NO ONE had ever seen this service, and everyone was blown away by it. One of the people I'm closest to came up to me at coffee hour and said "my youngest tugged on my shirt and said 'Mommy, Daddy's crying,' but my eyes were so blurry I couldn't tell if he was or wasn't." The retired priest was present for the service, and at coffee hour asked Father to bring "the boy" to him so he could spend some time getting to know him. This was very special, and I think David realized that.

When we finally got to the car, I told David how proud I was of how he behaved during the service, and how grateful I was that he was willing to share that with me, and with everyone, how good it was to see him crossing himself with the rest of us, and how blessed I am to have him as my son.

Of course, the next step would be baptism.